Memorable Moments in an Alien World











{April 5, 2012}   How to Have Baby in the Big City

I have gone back and forth on how to phrase this entry, because its weirdness level is so high that I have difficulty expressing it. Should I spare no detail? Ought I even bother to form sentences? Should I attempt to omit it entirely? Alas, I cannot see the latter through to completion because this whole blog is about the other-worldliness of LA.

After careful deliberation, I have concluded that it may well be the most bizarre topic I have ever blogged and therefore the more loquacious I become, the more likely I am to dilute the scarring impact this conversation had on my brain and the lasting eye-twitch which has resulted.

Instead, I shall venture to give an equation. This was the summation of my most peculiar (as of yet) conversation since I moved to LA. The theme was “Having a Baby,” and this was the knowledge dropped on me that I cannot UNhear:

Online sperm bank + overnight shipping on dry ice + a turkey baster + a few minutes to oneself = baby, LA style.

And that is more than I EVER wanted to know about in-vogue, cutting-edge conception. Ever.

So…how about this weather?



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