Memorable Moments in an Alien World

{December 12, 2012}   Dated.

I have a confession to make. It is one of my great comforts and it is slightly embarrassing.
As I am a person prone to stress, I have pieced together a system that seems to work (for the most part) when I am under the gun. It is a multi-step process that almost always pacifies my stress. Here goes:

1) Pray pray heardest when

2) Find humour in absolutely anything (this is the part where sometimes I succeed in being very funny and sometimes people just look at me strangely as I laugh maniacally. Disturbing (or hilarious), I know.

Dwight hilarious

3) Run, Write or Read. Basically, I need to immerge myself in any activity that begins with an “r” sound.


4) Drink.

a) I love espresso and making an excellent cup of espresso is a wonderful way to de-escalate my stress level (this is a con panna – order one sometime, they’re delightful! If you do it at Starbucks you’ll really confuse the baristas. Fun pastime of mine.)

Con Panna

b) THIS POINT IS CRUCIAL TO THE WHOLE PROCESS: I absolutely must mix some half-and-half (or breve, if you will) in with my coffee drink and check the expiration date.


Allow me to expand on point b of number 4 a bit. I check the breve’s expiration date not because I am concerned that it is expired, but because I have come to measure my whole life by the expiration date of half-and-half. Big meeting coming up that I feel overwhlemed about? Check the date! I will invariably find that the half-and-half expires two weeks after my meeting. For reasons that are ineffable even to me, this timeline somehow makes me feel better.

Prime example: I have some half-and-half in my fridge right now. Expiration date? January 13, 2013. I have 6 big meetings in December. Yet every time I look at that expiration date, I find myself thinking, “Those meetings will be over before you know it. For goodness sake, you’ll still be using this breve when all the meetings are finished!”

It’s completely non-sensical, but in that moment, my mind breathes a sigh of relief and I gain new strength to press on.

Weird, right?

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